Recently I decided to read up on my personality type, basing my resources off of the briggs personality identification. In the end I learned that I was INTP-T, if you’re not familiar with this terminology you can look it up before reading to get a more in depth understanding, but basically it means I’m Introverted, intuitive, thinking, prospective, Turbulent…. while intellectually this is a possibly amazing combination, as a Christian I look at the identifier and don’t read INTP but instead I read Inept.
As some one who who loves the Lord and wants to understand his innermost workings I scourer the Bible, internet, book, podcasts, and other brains for information. This comes at a cost though…. scoring a 29% in the feelings category means that I have little room allocated to considering the feelings of a individual because for me, logic dictates the situation and when logic isn’t dictating the situation I lose my mind. I devolve from a reasonable individual to someone who is bent on proving no matter the cost logical truth.
A larger problem arises out of this thought process, a distaste for a gift that God gave me a wish that I could handle the mainstream more easily and not mock people who who can just simply say “well it just is”. This transforms to a point to which I feel like I am no longer allowed to be Christian. That due to my overly logical nature I am ineligible for forgiveness because I don’t project forgiveness. That I am lukewarm water primed to be spit out of Gods mouth and be told that I was never known. Obsessive learning that lends to intellectual weight, Depression due to intellectual weight ensues, only broken when the stress of intellectual weight is to much to handle and it absolutely has to be released, a rampant unending cycle is formed.
This turns my Christianity tumultuous, which in turn makes my voice death. When I reflect on my last few years I have grown in many ways but I have devolved from anything that is loving, understanding, or graceful. My patience is with those I know inside and out and not those who I have just meet. Reason supersedes grace, frustration supersedes love, knowledge supersedes understanding. I know these things and have known them for a long… long time and it is past due that I work them out and fix them. My passion is to be a mouthpiece of God and to do this I have to break my Inept nature of destructive Bull horning, and balance that with wisdom in handling situations that make no sense to me.
PRAYER:
God,
I look to you for guidance
I look to you for example
I look to you for love
I look to you for daily needs
You are a mystery, blessing, and curse
But I love you deeply
I pray for me and all like me
That within you we find a voice
A voice of light
A voice of hope
A voice of authority
A voice of God
Mantle to us your characteristics
So that light may pierce the dark
Where only we can thrive
Amen
WE ARE ZION 
What made you decide to take this test? We took them for work, and in fact it was so popular Corporate printed off each individuals results in a little head icon photo that depicted our personalities and we have them at our desks. It’s interesting to see who is what type – and how different types work together.
Personally, I am ENTP. Which fits. I think you’re viewing your results wrong though. God made you exactly who you are because He wanted you that way. He can continue molding you, and allowing you to grow and change, but you have your own set of gifts that need to be given to the Lord for His purpose and use. I respect that you see your own downfalls and shortcomings, and I like that you’re working to become a better Disciple of Christ (as all Christians should continuously stive to be more like-Christ) but don’t forget some aspects of your personality God gave you intentionally.
🙂
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Well I recognize internally that I personally do horribly when it come to understanding the feelings of those around me. So I wanted to figure why I am the way I am so that is can better position my self to be a effective disciple. It turns out I’m on the extereme end of the intp spectrum and at times I honestly think I’m autistic in the feelings department. I do actually recognize it as wrong to view myself like this. I thought I mentioned that maybe I missed it, I know I intended to though haha.
My hope for the post is two fold one it helps me vent and process what is going on in my head. And 2] if any one else is dealing with it I hope that they can see there not alone and pray the prayer at the end I think interestingly that prayer is a good prayer of anyone in a position of feeling isolated!
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I think everyone deals with who they are frequently. I struggled for years with apathy, and although I still have issues with it, I definitely think God has helped me grow and understand how to show and interpret feelings better. I think the post did its job then!
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